I would totally eat there!

Air bag meets bag

This might be one of the funniest pranks I've ever seen. On top of it all it looks like it hurt too!

He's dead let's move on

Michael Jackson is dead. Big deal. So he finally caught up to his career, good for him. Actually, I'm not entirely sure he wasn't already dead. If you were to take what he looked like as a zombie in the Thriller video and compare it to what he looked like shortly before he died, it's eerily similar.

Anyway, he's dead and buried. Let's move on with our lives, I no longer want to see footage of Neverland, his kids, his funeral, his casket, his monkey, his family, his friends, his videos etc...

Can we please turn on the television without seeing him? I realize many people are ridiculously upset (although I really don't know why, they didn't actually know him, perhaps they forgot he was a kiddie diddler - oops, my mistake alleged kiddie diddler), but can't they mourn in private. Take your sobbing asses back inside your own fucking houses and get off my TV!

Seriously, when Billy Mays died it barely registered a footnote on the news, and he contributed more to pop culture over the last 10 years than Jackson did (other than dangling his kids off balconies and looking progressively weirder on an almost monthly basis).

The long and the short of it is that he was a celebrity (for whatever reason), 99.99% of the population didn't actually know him. Mourn him in private. Break out your Off The Wall album, listen to it over and over again until you realize there are more important things to worry about.

Your web based psychoanalist

ELIZA was a program written in the 1960s by Joeseph Weizenbaum. Basically, it uses an old shrink's trick of rephrasing your question into a new question so you can figure out your problems on your own (but ELIZA doesn't charge you $200 an hour to do it). It doesn't really do much of anything except annoy you after about 5 questions, but it's kind of fun to try to argue with it.

Try it out here.

Increasing readership

I've recently added this blog to condron.us. It's basically a collection of blogs. Since I did this 2 days ago I've had hits from California, England and Malaysia. None of them actually stayed to look at my blog, but they at least saw it.

International Olympic Day. Blah!

So apparently today is International Olympic Day. Who fuckin' cares? The Olympics are a waste of time and money. Why does it matter which country has the best atheletes?

The millions of dollars spent every couple years on the Olympic stadiums, parks, pools, whorehouses, and fast food restaurants could and should be spent on countries and cities infrastructure. How many homeless shelters could be built with that money? How many lasting jobs could be created? How many roads repaved?

The Olympics are nationalism run rampant. It's an opportunity for countries to drop their pants and show the world how big their dick is without blowing anything up. Of course America usually does both, but that's something to discuss another time.

One more thing, why do I have to watch commercials for the Olympics for 2 years prior to the actual event? We all know they're coming! It's not like we're going to be able to avoid them when they get here. They're everyfuckingwhere! You can't turn on the TV or read a newspaper without seeing them. So give us a break and quit it with 2 years worth of commercial run up.

Perez Hilton assaulted! Good!

Celebrity blogger Perez Hilton was alledgedly assaulted at the Much Music Video Awards. He claims he was punched by The Black Eyed Peas tour manager Polo Molina after posting several unflattering blogs about the Black Eyed Peas in general, and lead singer Fergie in particular.

Waaahh! Suck it up Perez you bitch. When you negatively blog about someone you run the risk of pissing them off. When you piss someone off you run the risk of getting punched in the face. It's pretty simple math really: You being a bitch+Posting your bitchiness online=You getting punched in the face.

Of course, now I run the risk of getting bitch slapped by Perez Hilton. And being swarmed by angry monkeys for previous blog posts.