Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Increasing readership
I've recently added this blog to condron.us. It's basically a collection of blogs. Since I did this 2 days ago I've had hits from California, England and Malaysia. None of them actually stayed to look at my blog, but they at least saw it.
International Olympic Day. Blah!
So apparently today is International Olympic Day. Who fuckin' cares? The Olympics are a waste of time and money. Why does it matter which country has the best atheletes?
The millions of dollars spent every couple years on the Olympic stadiums, parks, pools, whorehouses, and fast food restaurants could and should be spent on countries and cities infrastructure. How many homeless shelters could be built with that money? How many lasting jobs could be created? How many roads repaved?
The Olympics are nationalism run rampant. It's an opportunity for countries to drop their pants and show the world how big their dick is without blowing anything up. Of course America usually does both, but that's something to discuss another time.
One more thing, why do I have to watch commercials for the Olympics for 2 years prior to the actual event? We all know they're coming! It's not like we're going to be able to avoid them when they get here. They're everyfuckingwhere! You can't turn on the TV or read a newspaper without seeing them. So give us a break and quit it with 2 years worth of commercial run up.
The millions of dollars spent every couple years on the Olympic stadiums, parks, pools, whorehouses, and fast food restaurants could and should be spent on countries and cities infrastructure. How many homeless shelters could be built with that money? How many lasting jobs could be created? How many roads repaved?
The Olympics are nationalism run rampant. It's an opportunity for countries to drop their pants and show the world how big their dick is without blowing anything up. Of course America usually does both, but that's something to discuss another time.
One more thing, why do I have to watch commercials for the Olympics for 2 years prior to the actual event? We all know they're coming! It's not like we're going to be able to avoid them when they get here. They're everyfuckingwhere! You can't turn on the TV or read a newspaper without seeing them. So give us a break and quit it with 2 years worth of commercial run up.
Perez Hilton assaulted! Good!
Celebrity blogger Perez Hilton was alledgedly assaulted at the Much Music Video Awards. He claims he was punched by The Black Eyed Peas tour manager Polo Molina after posting several unflattering blogs about the Black Eyed Peas in general, and lead singer Fergie in particular.
Waaahh! Suck it up Perez you bitch. When you negatively blog about someone you run the risk of pissing them off. When you piss someone off you run the risk of getting punched in the face. It's pretty simple math really: You being a bitch+Posting your bitchiness online=You getting punched in the face.
Of course, now I run the risk of getting bitch slapped by Perez Hilton. And being swarmed by angry monkeys for previous blog posts.
Waaahh! Suck it up Perez you bitch. When you negatively blog about someone you run the risk of pissing them off. When you piss someone off you run the risk of getting punched in the face. It's pretty simple math really: You being a bitch+Posting your bitchiness online=You getting punched in the face.
Of course, now I run the risk of getting bitch slapped by Perez Hilton. And being swarmed by angry monkeys for previous blog posts.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Knife Wielding Monkey Terrorizes Calgary
Another monkey related incident has futher strenghtened my argument that all lower primates should be eliminated from the face of the planet.
This time an armed and dangerous lowland gorilla threatened thousands of innocent men, women and children across downtown Calgary. Apparently, said gorilla was waving a knife around, demanding banana daiquiris and the release of his "fellow simian revolutionaries". He then threw several handfuls of grass in the air, ate six grubs and fell asleep. Can you imagine what would have happened if he had decided to hold up a liquor store? A drunken knife wielding ape carousing around Calgary in a stolen 1979 Trans-Am!
Well alright, that's not exactly what happened. The gorilla in question did in fact have a knife, but he was still locked in his paddock (where he can safely be mocked by his erect standing cousins). The knife was accidentally left behind by a zookeeper after general maintenance. The gorilla picked up the knife and held it threateningly towards another gorilla before putting it down on a chair and wandering away.
Clearly this "zookeeper" is a monkey sympathizer and needs to be held accountable for his treasonous actions. I think a few months in Guantanamo Bay would do him some good. A little "enhanced interrogation" should let us in on the plans of those furry bastards! Let's get George Bush and Dick Cheney on the case!
Read the news article here.
This time an armed and dangerous lowland gorilla threatened thousands of innocent men, women and children across downtown Calgary. Apparently, said gorilla was waving a knife around, demanding banana daiquiris and the release of his "fellow simian revolutionaries". He then threw several handfuls of grass in the air, ate six grubs and fell asleep. Can you imagine what would have happened if he had decided to hold up a liquor store? A drunken knife wielding ape carousing around Calgary in a stolen 1979 Trans-Am!
Well alright, that's not exactly what happened. The gorilla in question did in fact have a knife, but he was still locked in his paddock (where he can safely be mocked by his erect standing cousins). The knife was accidentally left behind by a zookeeper after general maintenance. The gorilla picked up the knife and held it threateningly towards another gorilla before putting it down on a chair and wandering away.
Clearly this "zookeeper" is a monkey sympathizer and needs to be held accountable for his treasonous actions. I think a few months in Guantanamo Bay would do him some good. A little "enhanced interrogation" should let us in on the plans of those furry bastards! Let's get George Bush and Dick Cheney on the case!
Read the news article here.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
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