I know I'm a few days behind on this but I couldn't just pass up a chance to remind people how much I hate monkeys. Travis the chimp is dead. I know, I know, chimps aren't monkeys, but it's my blog so deal with it. He's dead, so there is one fewer pestilential lower primates left on this planet for me to hate.
The best part of his death is the fact that he proved me right. Monkeys are vicious, ugly, and far too smart for their (or our) own good. Before Travis was shot to death (HA!) by police he mauled a woman. Doctors said that her wounds were not life threatening, but were "certainly life altering". From what I've been able to gather, Travis bit off at least one of her fingers, and ripped the flesh from her jaw. A few websites reported that he had ripped off both of her hands and her lower jaw bone, but these sites would not be considered to be reputable (like this one).
Travis's owner, Sandra Herold, said that just minutes before the attack she had given the beast a dose of Xanax in order to calm him down because he was being rowdy. Probably throwing shit around the room, filthy bastard. Ms. Herold later denied that she gave the furry bugger the Xanax. She probably feared being held liable for the hairy bastard's attack on her friend Charla Nash. As a side note let me assure you, the best way to lose me as a friend is to get a pet monkey.
To Ms. Herold's credit she did stab Travis after he started to attack her friend. Apparently, the big brute pulled the knife out of himself and continued to mangle Ms. Nash. Maybe Ms. Herold mixed up Travis's Xanax with PCP, for he clearly wasn't feeling any pain.
By the way, if you think of chimps as cute and cuddly Travis was 200 pounds. You can see a picture of the barbarous bastard here.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
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